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Eric Theodore Cartman
18 September 2011 @ 06:13 pm

"Hello, this is Eric Cartman. I am probably out right now, so leave me your name and a detailed message. I will return your call as soon as I can. Except if this is Kyle. Because he's a fucking dirty kike."

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Eric Theodore Cartman
03 October 2010 @ 02:34 am
I got three pressing questions for you bitches that I want to get straight:

1) I think I missed those lame ass club sign-ups when I was away the other week but I know I can still get into one of them. Any of you on the debate team? Because I want in.

2) Someone needs to help me with fucking math because that teacher is a friggin' bitch demon from hell. If any of you help me out I promise that I will compensate you greatly.

3) What the fuck is everyone doing for Halloween? I want details, people, DETAILS! Because if none of you losers have anything planned I am going to make it my fucking priority to have the greatest, if not the coolest, Halloween adventure-slash-party-slash-extravaganza this side of the motherfucking Rockies.

That's all. Oh, and have a picture I took of my cat. Because he's a badass.

KITTYCollapse )
Current Music: shake ur kitty - lady gaga
Eric Theodore Cartman
20 September 2010 @ 02:52 pm
I'm not gonna be in school this week. I'm sick. Actually, you know what? Fuck it. I don't need to lie that I'm sick because you fuckers will probably find out somehow that I'm such a cool motherfucker and that I'm away for better reasons. I'm takin' the week off for this:

YEAH. I got the bundle, bitches. Got it on release day. I won't be around and I'm not lettin' anyone else play it. It's the COOLEST fucking edition with all of the secret codes and levels and shit and none of you get to play it. Goddamnit this is going to be so much fun, I'm gonna have such an awesome time just playing it nonstop!


And I bet Kyle totally won't have this because Jews can't play Halo. They suck total balls at it. Anyway, now screw all you guys: I'm gonna be busy chilling out, maxin', and relaxin' ALL cool. Enjoy slaving the week away in that jail you call school.
Current Mood: mischievousmischievous